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WHAT IS HOLISTIC SEX EDUCATION?
 
It's a comprehensive approach to teaching people about all of the systems of the body as it relates to intimacy, arousal, consent, communication, sex, and pleasure. It recognizes consensual touch and connection as innately innocent and healthy. This approach creates a framework that demystifies confusing social messages around sex and intimacy and normalizes healthy communication, self-awareness, and trusting our own bodies.

We don't exactly have a culture where getting individual sex education is normal. It's not so different from other kinds of coaching, we go over your challenges and goals, and I help you strategize and create ways to have more of what you want. I have many tools in my kit and I'm excited to share them with you!

-Anara Lani

 What does a typical first session look like?

 

 

 Mainly talking, self-reflection, getting to know each other, sharing your history, embodiment practice, maybe a guided meditation, every person is different, and every session is different. Before we schedule a full session, we will meet for a 30-minute phone or video call to determine if this work is right for you. I’ll send you an intake form to complete before our first meeting, and you will be invited to get clear about what you're interested in working on. If I’m not the right practitioner for you or if another approach would be more useful to you, I’ll offer suggestions for alternatives. My goal is to help you get the support and learning you want, whether it’s with me or not. 

 

The first session is our opportunity to get to know each other and to develop a relationship. We’ll complete your intake and explore exercises around consent, communication, and boundaries to help us create our working relationship.  Please set aside up two hours for this exploratory session, we may not use all the time. Transformation becomes possible through trust and practice. 

 

 

How often do people come?

 

It takes us a lifetime to develop our relationships with intimacy, attachment, trust, and our bodies. This work is not an overnight fix or a magic pill. Our first session can be up to two hours long, and together we will decide which package works best for you.  How often you come is determined by you, many people come in weekly, and I recommend at least once a month. Most people purchase a five-session package after our first meeting so that we can get systematic about reaching goals. Once we recognize patterns of thoughts and behaviors, we'll need consistency to support transformation. Together we will discover what is right for you. My intention is to support your independence and maintaining a strong relationship with your own bodies wisdom.

 

Do you use touch?

 

When it is appropriate. I teach people about sex and intimacy and bodies; I can do this with words and pictures and puppets. I am also trained in somatic sexological bodywork. Touch is not always appropriate for every person.  Your nervous system, interest, and history of trauma will determine what is right for you. I use a model of enthusiastic consent, which means your body decides what is appropriate. I provide helpful embodiment practices to assist you in noticing what's happening in your system. In other words, you don't have to already know what you need; I will help you.

 

 

Do I have to do anything I don’t want to do?

 Not when it comes to touch, not ever. 

 

The work I offer is subtle and varied. It can be very uncomfortable to challenge your existing belief patterns. This is the only place we may want to push through. If we are working with understanding your body and senses, it is never useful to force yourself into something that doesn't feel right. Our goal is always to understand your OWN body's wisdom, and to honor it with enthusiastic consent.

 Together we’ll discover the pace that works best for you to learn and explore while giving you plenty of opportunities to integrate what your learning.

 

 

What these sessions are NOT.

 

This work never includes sex or sexual interactions between client and practitioner.

I am not an erotic massage therapist or a sex worker.

 

 

Can I bring my partner to my sessions?

 

Yes. We will discuss this in advance, so we are clear about the intentions of your couples session. Scheduling for couples sessions begin at two hours; there is no additional fee for adding people, you are paying for time spent, not specific services.  

 

 

 

 What does a couples session look like?

 

 

I enjoy working with couples of any gender combination or relationship structure to help them explore and create the skills they need to bring more enjoyment, ease, and pleasure in their relationship. Couples sessions usually focus on the sexual aspects of your relationship, and your ability to access and communicate your desires. To be clear, this is not a traditional couples therapy, but I am available to work together with you and your therapist.

 

 What kinds of clients do you work with?

 

 

I work with people of all genders, sexual orientations, and relationship structures. I believe that everyone deserves to feel comfortable in his or her body. How we work with pleasure and sexual well-being, translates to other parts of your life.  I invite you to discover your fullest embodiment potential and freedom in your sexual expression. 

I welcome you to my practice, with whatever identities you hold – human being, person, spirit, god, goddess, woman, man, female, male, feminine, masculine, androgyne, lesbian, gay, bisexual, bi-curious, hetero-flexible, heterosexual, pansexual, transgender, intersex, questioning, kink, monogamous, non-monogamous, open, polyamorous, etc. All of you is welcome, especially the parts your most unsure about.

 

 

Do you only work with sex and sexuality?

 

 

No. I also have a background in Kundalini Yoga, The Way Of Mastery teachings, and Shamanic Experiencing. I specialize in teaching people how to be in their bodies regardless of what they're doing. I believe how we do anything is how we do everything. Sexual expression is one of the many places we tend to get stuck.

 I find that beginning here lends insight into how an individual works with uncertainty, trauma or conflict. Pleasure is a fundamental human right and one that most people have at least some confusion around. 

We can work with the concept of giving and receiving pleasure, and never discuss sexuality. We can work with interpersonal relating, and never talk about romantic dynamics.  

Our first relationship is with our own body; many might argue that it's our only relationship. We can explore this in any way that is right for you.

 

 

Some words about gender and anatomy

 

 

The majority of my clientele identify as women or men, and I often use these terms in my language for simplicity. I want to acknowledge that there are people who prefer different terminology than that which they were given at birth or even outside of this binary. The "Gender Bread Person" is a fantastic resource for learning more about this topic and other terminology. I also want to acknowledge that genitals do not equal gender so I attempt to specify when I'm referring to both a particular gender with particular genitals (e.g., women with vulvas). My dedication is to be inclusive and inviting of all beings. 

Do you offer phone or Skype sessions?

 

 

I do, and there is much to learn in guided self-reflection.  Prices are the same as in-person work, and all video or phone sessions must be paid for at least 24 hours in advance. 

 

 What is your cancellation policy?

 

 

I have a strict 24-hour cancellation policy. Should you need to cancel your appointment, kindly give me 24 hours minimum notice via phone message or text message. If you cancel your session with less than 24 hours notice, you are responsible for the cost of your session. 

 

 

Legal Stuff

 

 

By contacting me for an appointment, you agree to and understand these terms. You are paying for time spent with me, nothing else. Disclaimer: Somatic Sex Education/Coaching and Sexological Bodywork is not psychotherapy or medical treatment. We do not dispense psychological or medical diagnosis, advice, or services. The services discussed herein do not in any way include or relate to either (1) engagement in any lewd act for money or other consideration, or (2) solicitation, offer, or agreement to engage in any lewd act for money or other consideration. 

 

"You can also expect clear boundaries that you can relax into and feel held by.  This work is about learning the language of your body and getting good at deciphering your individual body's cues. Together we will explore your thoughts, beliefs, and edges. You are encouraged to say no even if you previously said yes, and to get clear about your boundaries. Living within you is your very own users manual, I can help you uncover it."
-Anara