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What is your relationship to desire?

May 3, 2017

 

 

Let’s take a moment and contemplate this question: What its my relationship to desire? For many of us, this can take a moment to land.

 

When you start to get a  feel for the answer, ask yourself this second question.  Do I have all that I desire in this life?

 

 If you are like many people, you can probably identify some of your deepest desires but they are not necessarily showing up in your life in a reliable and consistent way.

 

Learning how to recognize your deepest desires AND bring them into manifestation in your life is probably one of the most valuable gifts we can give ourselves.

 

So, let's start with the impulse that becomes a desire and then flows into your reality.

 

The impulse of desire can go in many directions. Like a drop of grape juice on white linen - plop - the fluid touches  fabric and then spreads out in its own unique configuration. An important question to ask is whether we are allowing our deepest desires to flow freely or are we stopping that flow? 

 

When we allow that flow -  life is indeed magical. 

 

When we stop that flow, life can start to feel less than inspiring and can even feel like a chore.

 

 

 

 

So, how do we allow this flow of desire to happen?  And what are the ways we can stop that flow in its tracks? 

 

It’s easy to mistrust desire.

 

For most of us, pleasure has had strings attached to it. Some of us indulge compulsively, some abstain entirely, but we all have a built in regulatory system that controls and manages our relationship to pleasure.This system is often inherited from our families and communities. Culture and religion have a big role in shaping these opinions, as does the media. The media machine provides an endless fountain of misinformation spouting the importance comparing ourselves to celebrities, the value of looking youthful and sexy at every age, and how possessing the newest model will vastly improve the quality of your life. Being inundated with these messages has an impact.

 

Many of us recognize that we're not totally fulfilled but don’t really know why. Somewhere along the way, we got the message that we are supposed to just know how to navigate conflicting feelings and impulses and somehow find happiness.

 

Once we take an honest look at where we are, and feel all of the sensations that are present, we have something to work with. From here we can move into acceptance. When we can lovingly look at our choices and see how we are (often accidentally) creating our reality with our mixed up beliefs, we can change them. If you made it, you can unmake it, we are amazing creators!

 

Desire, jumbled in a big clump of conflicting ideas, pleasurable experiences, shame, judgement and  maybe even guilt can be a lot to work with. Learning how to decipher desire from impulse, desire from should’s, and desire  from “what is good for everyone else” can be tricky.

I am teaching a class on this very topic at Embracing the Feminine Women’s Festival this weekend. For more information or to sign up, go to www.embracing thefeminine.org.

 

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